6.12.07

Unbelievable...

This was passed on to me, and I couldn't believe it. Nothing like a pair of diamond earrings to say, thanks for pushing out eight pounds of wiggling flesh these last 17 hours, honey. I hope you read at least the first few paragraphs, because it really is unbelievable. The idea, I guess, is for a guy to make up for the fact that they are going to be useless for the first year? Or is it just that we have become so materialistic that we have to reward something our bodies are supposed to do, something I would guess many of us have chosen to do. And then to expect something even better the next time you choose to have another baby? To quote someone who, upon reading this, exclaimed, "Who are these people?" Seriously. How did they get so greedy and wasteful and out of touch? (Plus, I love that this is described as some kind of "movement", something a kin to civil rights or feminism.)

I am still not believing the whole idea of a mother getting (much less expecting) a gift directly following birth. As if the baby isn't enough of a gift. After my 20 hours of labor with my son, all I wanted was to get that oxygen mask off. Then all I wanted was FOOD, and lots of it (those ice chips did not do it for me, really). I wouldn't even let my husband give me a diamond for our engagement (because he couldn't afford it and I really don't need something that expensive on my finger, when there are a lot of people out there that don't have food or shelter - yes, I am a hippie control-freak), so there is NO WAY I would let him spend the money we know we are going to need for our son on something so frivolous. So, I guess you know how I feel about all of this. When my husband read that, he said, "That is the worst thing I have ever read - anything I said before is now trumped. That's the worst." Amen, brother.

You know we're in it bad when the beautiful gift (granted, when they come out they are all deformed and covered in a sticky white goo, with blood globules all over them, but they're beautiful all the same) of a child - the combination of your genes and love and partnership - isn't enough, and we need something sparkly. I am reminded of what a priest friend of mine told me once (pre-ordination) when my church was looking for a new rector. "Beware of the shiny ones. They may look good, they may even sparkle and draw you in with their glimmer, but that's usually all they are - shiny." In a thousand years, those rocks on your ear are going to be used to fuel your stupid H3, which is also destroying our earth. So, go ahead and enjoy them, while the rest of us actually give a crap about other people.

4 comments:

Doorman-Priest said...

I wonder what my present should have been for all the hard work I put in to three conceptions?

Doorman-Priest said...

And the seat in the delivery suite was VERY uncomfortable!

Malt Viquor said...

Yeah, honey. Where's my conception prize? Hope it's a Playstation 3!

Or a motorcycle!

Or a pony! I want a pony!

Anonymous said...

My gift was my husabdn getting up every night the baby cried and bringing him (and her) to me when I nunrsed, and if he was awake when we were done, he'd tuck the baby back in. If I'd gotten a ring I would have used it to scratch his face while he slept because I had to be up EVERY night 3 times a night with Mr. Snoring McLazy Pants sleeping soundly next to me....like so many moms out there.